Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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