VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
