I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
