dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
