Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
