have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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