I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
