Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize