There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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