i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize