Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
