Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
