You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY