you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK