Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
