I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
