she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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