Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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