what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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