Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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