my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
