turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
