theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
