Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
