maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
