i just google imaged poop.
this beer tastes like vomit already
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
