Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
