their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
