I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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