I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize