Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
