I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize