Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
