he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my being single is dangerous.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Randomize
