the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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