u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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