He asked to "fluff my boner.."
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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