you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
