dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
