what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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