This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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