i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
