Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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