Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
