just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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