im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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