i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
