Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize