i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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