I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
