I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
