I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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