I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Shame - the story of my life.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize