this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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