Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
