Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
