i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
