Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
