My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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