So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
