He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
