Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
