i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i think my cat just said my name.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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