A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There are leaves in my underwear?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize