How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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